diary entry

a short story by Anna McGrew, ’24

December 29th, 2019

Chinese Proverbs, chiiiiineeeeeese proooverbs, chinese prooooooverrrrrbs.
Sometimes when you say the same phrase over again it just sounds like hooey. I mean, I am taking US history class to learn about the US, not freaking Chinese Proverbs. Who even cares about Chinese Proverbs; honestly, I don’t like Chinese proverbs and I’m Chinese. Since I’m Chinese everyone expects me to be Mr. straight A’s even though I have straight C’s. My parents are white, I am adopted, and I am pretty sure I’m stupid. Oh, and I’m not athletic whatsoever. I’m a failure. I can’t do anything by myself without messing it up. So many things are expected of me at school: straight A’s, natural athleticism, and being cool and collected. And I can’t do any of it. People call me fake China at least 10 times a day. I ‘m 16 and I don’t even know what I want to do with my stupid meaningless life.

January 1st-2nd, 2020

Today is New Year’s Day. My parents say I have to improve my grades to get into an okay college. Since my grades have gone down so much, they can’t really get any better now. Everyone is gonna come back to school with a new attitude, a new look, and a new demeanor, while I am just gonna come back with my same baggy clothes to cover up my scrawniness. When I walk into school I get called fake china twice and I am already done with school. Sometimes I want to drop out. You know, maybe I will.

January 5th, 2020

So I did it, diary. I have dropped out of school; it feels like a 5 ton weight lifted off my shoulders. Well maybe just 4 out of the 5. My parents kinda kicked me out, but I got a job at a bakery and I live there right now. I work for food and a place to live, and to be honest it’s not that bad. Soon I’ll move up and who knows what my life is going to look like in 10 years, but I… um… don’t really know, sometimes life is a mystery, and all you gotta do is not be afraid to dive in, because once you do, you can swim.


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