jealousy: a monster within

poem by Rebecca Eneyni, ’18

My fingernails bore trenches into my clasped hands,
A bead of sweat trickled down the side of my face,
Dodging the vein that ticked on my temple,
My glazed eyes hid the fire that lurked beneath,
No one…ought to know.

My eyes darted about the enclosed space,
Looking, searching for relief,
Thoughts swirled in a whirlwind of confusion,
The clocks ticking slowed to a crawl,
Tick…tock.

My stomach surged with anger, turning in and out,
In and out,
My chest was constricted,
I gasped for air,
Breathe in…and out.

My heart ached from disappointment,
The anger enveloped me,
Ashamed of myself,
Declaring my failure,
I wish…I was different.

The monster that prowls in my throat,
Pounces towards the surface,
I swallow him whole,
Force him deep into my stomach,
He waits…for his escape.

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